To understand love relationships, one must first understand the feminine and masculine primal principles.
We live in a time of great changes and expansion of consciousness, spiritual growth and awakening, which gives us a completely new way of loving, a transformation of sexuality, a healing of our relationships, not only with our partner.
More and more we understand and recognize ourselves, and with understanding we drop all knowledge, our ego, our identities and roles and start living our humanity.... deeply from our source, from the heart.
(c) ute strohbusch 2015
The Feminine Principle
The feminine energy is creating, bringing the idea into manifestation.The feminine energy is diffuse, melting into depth and breadth, flowing, emotional and without form.It is creative, giving birth to life, absorbing, transforming and healing.The feminine energy is overflowing love and serves itself.The feminine principle is GIVING, it is RECEIVING and PASSIVE.
The masculine principle
The male energy is the impulse, the idea. The masculine energy is purposeful, directed forward upward like the phallus.It is combative, focused, dynamic, performance and competition oriented and destructive.The masculine energy protects and holds the feminine energy, gives it a vessel, a frame, a security and structure in which it can surrender to itself and unfold.The masculine principle is STRUCTURE, it is HOLDING and ACTIVE.If one internalizes this, one understands the laws of nature, of the animal kingdom, but also of our human relationships and those of sexuality. Every human being does not consist of only one of the two sides, but always has both parts in himself, called animus and anima. Otherwise he could not survive alone. We do not necessarily need each other to be whole. But we need each other to recognize ourselves, as long as we still live in our old EGO-structures, because then the partner reflects us not only the bright and beautiful, but also our unredeemed shadows. In order to be able to recognize himself completely as a man, he needs the woman as a mirror. In order to be able to recognize herself completely as a woman, she needs the man as a mirror.
Two people who have healed their wounded parts, who have become whole in themselves, can or will also join together, but no longer "need" each other.
Since we are on this path of healing and becoming whole, there will be completely new forms of living together in the foreseeable future, which no longer need any external structure, and certainly no predetermined social or moral constraints. For this kind of "relating to each other" will be based on unconditional love and voluntariness, no longer characterized by mutual neediness, expectations, fear and lack. A love that does not demand and wants to possess, but gives itself to the other out of its own complete HAVING.
The longing of women
Every woman knows it, the "insatiable longing" for a man who is able to HOLD her. The longing for a man who may be powerful and loving enough to BEAR her in all her emotionality, her cyclical mood swings and her SO BEING. It becomes "insatiable longing" when the woman is dependent on her feelings, because this longing expresses unhappy emotions.... a lack, a deficiency. Female intelligence, however, is not emotional in its essence. There is female emotion AND female intelligence.
Many women cannot define this longing. The woman wants to get something, but it is on a completely different level than what she knows. And if she then becomes emotionally longing because she keeps looking for it on the wrong level and hoping to find it, then she is away from her Feminine Intelligence, which she is inside. Away from her innate instinct that protects herself.
A man can fulfill this, his true task, at all only if he has learned to LOVE and to face the female-divine principle respectfully, trustingly and mindfully.
This desire of the feminine comes from the fact that the feminine principle wants to give itself completely, not primarily to the man and also not sexually, but to ITSELF. This is important to understand, perhaps the most important thing of all, in order to return from powerlessness to self-power. The female principle serves itself first and foremost! Even sexually. It decides whether and whom it allows thereby. The masculine principle serves the feminine in the reverse. The female principle, which IS LOVE, wants to pour out, to give away, so that energy can flow again and "grow again". The feminine principle must be allowed to "get rid of its energies" in order to form new ones again. This is the primordial feminine aspiration! Like a full tree which carries heavily at its fruits, like a heavily pregnant woman who wants to give birth to her fruit finally.
The man absorbs the overflowing energies of the woman and is transformed by them. But the woman cannot simply give it to him to relieve herself. He has to take it from her himself.
This is also the reason why women run after men or fight desperately for them! They feel the urge to want to get rid of their energies. That's why they try to get the man to pick the fruit :-)
The man TRUSTS the feminine principle, balances and endures all emotional fluctuations, if he is able and mature in his manhood. He does it by simply HOLDING the emotional energy of the woman IN LOVE, without reacting or even overreacting on the personal level.
Here I would like to insert a passage from Christian Malzahn (seelenfluegel.net), with whom I have exchanged ideas about the male and female primal principle : "The man is himself. He is responsible for his own energy maintenance. And in the sexual act: he does not carry energies into the woman in the first place and in his masculine responsibility towards the feminine energies.
For he has a task which, if he brings his energies into the woman, he cannot fulfill. At the center of femininity are the subtle fine feminine enerigens that hang like fruit on a ripe apple tree. They have to be picked. It is the feminine endeavor to get rid of them. The man picks them up and thus absorbs femininity into himself. This serves him for transformation and provides for the High Man in him. The "picking" is the man's task. He can only do this if he completely abandons his greed and surrenders himself to this service of the feminine, that is, without striving for orgasm as a goal. The "picking", with that he takes feminine energy out of the woman. This relieves the woman's energy system, just as the apple tree feels relieved to be freed from the burden of fruit so that it can form new ones. Just as the man can "smooth" the woman on the outside, he can do the same on the inside. This is the service of the masculine to the feminine. Discharging the masculine enerige, the semen, that may be, of course, but that is not the high energy vision. And the man can learn to be able to not necessarily carry out the "low" energy vision. This, in turn, is the result of the transformation of the man through the subtle feminine energies, the "little apples".
The discharge of the masculine energies, as it is traditionally practiced, does not serve the feminine, because greed plays a role there. The woman will always have the feeling that there is something missing, that she is not picked up, but as long as she does not know what it is, she accepts it and becomes more and more frustrated, or greedy herself, without knowing why.
The feminine energy penetrates the man in this way, that he himself picks the feminine energies and gets them, and transforms him. But for this, the man must be mature and ready to "pick up" the feminine energy.
The unconscious man carries energy into the woman and "pollutes" her with it." This low-male energy corrupts the already very fragile emotional energy system of the woman even more and the women do not know why. The woman IS love. If she is contaminated with low-male energy, then this also awakens greed in her. And at the same time the longing. But she can define less and less this longing. It becomes a source for the immature boy, who uses it to get "mother energy.""
(Dearest Christian, thank you from the bottom of my heart for these remarks).
Unfortunately, most women have not had the experience of being unconditionally held by the father in their childhood. They have been wounded, hurt and disappointed by the male principle. Often by both parents. From this, they have developed behavioral mechanisms in their childhood, mostly also through the example of the mother, to have to earn this love through the male principle, even to have to fight for it. The fatal thing that arises from this is a reversal of the female principle. Women begin to go into the male active role, that is, to activate their inherent male part too strongly, and to strive for the love of a man, to fight and to want to earn it. They begin to shower men with their love, to provide for them, to take care of them, in order to prove to him that they are worthy of being loved. Women, for this reason, often give themselves sexually far too quickly in order to get love, falsely believing that they can create love in a man with sexual devotion. Instead of protecting themselves until he has conquered their heart on his own, they go into advance, which saves the man from having to make an effort to do so.
Women who become masculine in this way are injured in their dignity and weak in their femininity. And they resonate with men wounded by the mother principle, who have not learned to detach themselves from the mother in a good way in time. If the timely detachment from the mother does not succeed in puperty, the relationship to the feminine often remains negatively fixed for life.
The women experience the repetition of the old injuries by the father so again and again. They are worth only the familiar SEEKING and WAITING and have the feeling to have to earn love. Therefore, according to the law of resonance, they attract men who, for their part, are wounded in their masculinity, masculinely weak and incapable of love, and who go into the passive role and let themselves be "mothered", let themselves be emotionally cared for by the mother principle that has not been "nursed" enough, even as an adult man. At the same time, they are often very afraid of this because they have experienced the feminine energy through the mother as oppressive, imposing conditions or hurting them. They want to avoid this in later relationships, but of course they meet exactly the women who mirror it to them.
Such men do not know how to deal with feminine energies, have fears, close down, go into retreats again and again, or they often reduce femininity only to greed and lust, or they look for the "small safe happiness" with women who apparently do not touch them so deeply, and thus do not reach their pain points, or they simply refuse "relationship" altogether. Sometimes all at the same time.
Normally, a woman who is mentally healthy within herself is a queen and aware of the indwelling goddess. At least, she naturally behaves this way, even if it is unconscious and, above all, unaware. She rests in her feminine intelligence and is no longer a puppet of her unconscious emotions.
She knows what she wants and what she doesn't want, she doesn't care what others think of her, she doesn't need to please anyone. She lives her cycles and knows about the power of menstruation, from which she draws her greatest energy, because the blood renews her again and again.
She lives and loves her different emotions in the rhythm of her inherent nature, the greedy as well as the gentle, the maternal as well as the girlish, the combative as well as the healing and holy. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold, sometimes loving, sometimes brittle, sometimes angelic, sometimes lustful and depraved ... just as she feels at the moment. She does not pretend and does not adapt to anyone.
She lives and loves herself SELF-CONSCIOUSLY, without control of the mind, without control and intention of her effect on other people, is completely absorbed in her natural, powerful self-evidence. She IS all that and lives all, all her parts, according to her mood, not every facet of it must be permanently of NEED, but she would radically use every part, also the one of the fury and fighter.
She does not need love, she IS LOVE, she lives her visions and passions, sometimes gentle and warm and soft and nurturing, sometimes radical and relentless, sometimes cheeky and flirtatious, sometimes joyful and lustful, sometimes distant and dismissive. A woman who allows all her parts and gives herself completely to herself, without caring who loves her or doesn't love her, who likes her or doesn't like her, dances her life and the whole universe bows to her charisma.
Now we all know how the range of female parts has been reduced to fragments over the centuries. But many men still don't know that they have thereby cut themselves down to a few fragments of their manhood.
The newly awakening femininity often still generates unconscious fears, and this because the circumcised parts themselves have not yet been liberated, the women always seem to be a tad faster in their development and men often face this confused, not knowing how to deal with it. Withdrawal sometimes seems to be the only way out.
At the moment there is a lot of talk about soulmates, dual or twin flames. This is like everything we imagine or try to explain, a concept. It doesn't matter if there really is just "the one" soulmate, if you have karmic assignments or emotional connections from other lives... or if that person just shows up at the time we are ready to lift our love into unconditionality, break the last prongs out of our EGO crown and dig out our true crown. It is not important to understand God's plan, what is important is obviously to now let go of the last 3D patterns and get to our deepest and most painful wounds and attachments, and for this we just need a particularly deep and overpowering, even supernatural love, from which (and from the healing associated with it) we cannot escape as easily as we used to from karmic partners and from relationships characterized by neediness. The fact is, every partner mirrors our issues exactly and is the perfect counterpart, even to our shadow sides. As we evolve, we heal much of this, become lighter, open our hearts to ourselves. We are already vibrating higher, but we also still have our deepest pain. And then he or she comes... the soulmate... and shows us a never known heaven and at the same time throws us into our last repressed hells.
The weak man, the wounded boy, learns to free himself from his fears and self-doubt, to turn away from the safe mode of physical pleasure as the sole expression of his limited capacity for love, and to truly love.... and... TO HOLD the love of a woman. The man comes back into his power, he becomes the warrior of the heart. He becomes a conqueror. He MAY finally do what corresponds to his original energy: show strength, power and courage of the heart, no longer be just a pseudo hero a la Hollywood, consuming himself in the patriarchal economic and social structure. He begins the heroic journey of the man. The man needs the courage and the will and the wisdom (or at least the instinct) to want to be transformed by the feminine energies instead of fearfully pushing them away.
The male soul partner will instinctively reject the needy woman out of fear and turn her back on herself until she lets go of him as her source of happiness and begins to be happiness and give love to herself.
The weak woman, the rejected girl who denies her feminine power, worth and dignity, learns to admit her love for herself, to build her own energy pillars and discover her self-power. The soulmate literally brings her into self-reliance. How long this takes depends on how capable she is of suffering and how long she puts up with the rejections before she finally rolls up her umbilical cords, turns around, pulls her attention away from him and devotes herself EXCLUSIVELY to her own life! She throws off her begging robe and awakens the Queen. She realizes that her love is her protection and that she has an eternal bubbling spring within her and does not need to rely on the love of others. She literally comes from lack to abundance, often financially.
A woman who has awakened to herself and learned to provide for herself emotionally and otherwise releases the man from his obligation to provide. She no longer needs him for her emotional deficits. She no longer waits for him; there is no longer a longing in her to be loved. She takes care of her own life, is joy and love enough for herself, gives herself to what she enjoys and lives her visions.
The male soulmate, meanwhile, has his own tasks to complete in order to become truly capable of love again. He will simultaneously clean up his past, leave his old ways and draw new courage in his heart. He will begin his hero's journey as a warrior of the heart.
They will meet anew when both have outgrown their old life structures. When smallness, fear and self-doubt have become true inner greatness, courage and freedom in their own BEING.
The man learns to love and the woman learns to be love again
The woman may now become passive again towards men and allow herself to be conquered. She has outgrown the powerlessness of being dependent on the love of others and has returned to her feminine power. She knows the value of her feminine energy for the man and can relax into her own being. She will only serve the masculine principle, listen to a man and give herself to him completely - emotionally, spiritually-mentally-physically, when he has opened his heart completely to her and holds nothing back.
May we all awaken into love.
(c) Ute Strohbusch 2015